I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
