I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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