her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
