hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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