Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
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