maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
And then he peed in my hair
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