You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
