sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
