Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
