Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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