Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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