she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
