I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
