i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize