he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I just forgot I was standing up.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
