By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
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