FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
