I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
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