So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Randomize
