you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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