I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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