dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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