it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
