Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
