i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
