My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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