the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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