I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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