he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
