Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
