the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize