butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
