So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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