he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That accounts for only three of the penises
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
