Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
