Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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