I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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