God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i permit you to call me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
