now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
