Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
