Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
