I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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