as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
