You made me cry and you don't even care
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Drake has all the answers
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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