In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
