Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I understand Curling. That high.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
