i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
