I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
