Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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