Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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