Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize