Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
