that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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