If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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