I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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